Phew, what a long day I've had -_- Had an eight hour shift today, felt like a century. This morning was so busy. I could not get anything cleaned, I was running back and forth making coffee/juices in drive thru, etc. Just not the bestest morning :( It did get a little bit better though as the day continued, and as usual when two pm hits and I can leave I feel a rush of freedom ^^ I live a five minute walk from my store, so its so nice getting home right after work (and having to get up an hour before I work). I grew up about a forty minute drive away, so back then an eight hour shift could mean a 13 hour day in town. I usually went in to work with my dad and waited for him to be off before going home.
I love having my own home... I feel very grown up :) It has difficult moments sometimes. It is definitely something to get used to, taking care of everything yourself. I am so happy I have Aaron here with me so we really help each other with everything. He is definitely the more domestic one when it comes to knowing how to do household stuff, but I'm getting better at it. I hated helping out at home (sorry mom!), but when it's your own space and own things it feels so much more meaningful... I actually enjoy doing dishes, provided I am doing them at six AM on a day off before Aaron wakes up.
I was so worried when I moved in with Aaron that people would be judgemental. We have only been together for around 5 months... But I just knew it was the right time for us. We found the perfect place, it was a good price.. Things just fell into place for me with him. I feel guilty sometimes for moving out of my parents house though, partly because I've already done it once, with another guy (when I was younger and even more stupid). I hope they never feel like it's because I don't love them. The house I grew up in is just very small and more so it is out of the way... I never could just be like "I'm going to the mall, see you in two hours" like most of my friends. I needed a ride to do absolutely anything. If I wanted something from a convenience store it's a good hours bike ride :/ I think my parents understand this. I'm just very independent and I always have been. My youngest sister, Annie, wants to stay home forever. She is almost thirteen and she is my mothers absolute baby. I love her dearly and feel bad that I'm not always there. Then there is my other sister Katy, who is sixteen. I worry less about her, but I still miss her so much sometimes. I can tell her anything, and even when we fight I know she'll still always be around for me.
My parents and family took it well when I moved out... I love them for that. Even if they didn't agree and still don't, they still gave me all the support they could and continue to do so. They know I need to make my own choices in life, and whatever happens I learn from it. My friends are also supportive. When I told my best friend Jessica, I opened with "You'll be my best friend no matter what, right?" and she ended up being so supportive she comically said "You could kill me and I'd still be your best friend. If I wasn't dead." xD I miss having her around... she is away at university, and I miss her horribly :( I was so scared when she left that we would lose touch, but now I don't worry at all. We text all the time and always call eachother just to talk about our lives. I know I can always tell her anything and she'll be right there for me, and I hope she knows the same goes for me. :) We've been friends since we were two little nerds in grade nine (the six months I actually wasn't home schooled... it was worth it just because I have a best friend because of it), and even though we are a lot more grown up now and our lives are very different, we still both have constant support through whatever.
So in other news, I really want to buy http://visceral-beauty.net. I know it is availible, but I can't find a site that will let me register with paypal hooked up to my bank account with no credit card -_- any suggestions?? I have some interesting blog topics in mind, look out probably tommorow or the next day if I'm lazy. Plus, friday is my day off. Wooo :D Have a good night everyone, I'm also seeking affiliate sites and some new online friends feel free to comment if you're down :)
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Monday, 7 March 2011
you were born this way, you fuckin perfect firework!
While I was enjoying my very easy six hour shift at work today (gotta love those, especially after my nine hour shift yesterday -_- ew), a song popped into my head. This happens to me a lot. I have a coworker named Kerry who loves all the same music I do, so one of us will mention a song we like and both of us will be singing it for five hours, it is quite fun :D So today's cant-get-it-out-of-my-head-if-my-life-depended-on-it song was "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. Not surprising, as it has been on the radio non stop for the past couple weeks. So I'm assuming everyone has heard this song, and the other two I will be mentioning. But if not, I posted the youtube videos at the bottom of this post.
So anyways, as I was singing this song to myself (I actually plan on learning all of the lyrics and doing a cover soon), I realized something: There have been a lot of number one hits lately that have to do with self-esteem, inner beauty, and loving who you are. The chorus of Born This Way, for example "I'm beautiful in my way, God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way. Don't live your life in regret, just love yourself and you're set, I'm on the right track baby I was born this way" . Doesn't that just make you smile inside? Particularly when you hear someone singing it instead of written down. It's so nice hearing a song on the radio that isn't about love for once, except loving yourself. I'm happy with my boyfriend and love him more than anything, but hearing my-boyfriend-left-me-now-i-wanna-die on a constant loop makes even me feel depressed. And Born This Way is only one example. We also have Fuckin Perfect by Pink and Firework by Katy Perry. I particularly love Fuckin Perfect, because the actual words of the song isn't what makes it special (Watch the video!! Listen to the song!!), its the way Pink sings them and makes it sound real and so powerful. Firework is a cute song too, even though the lyrics in the first verse are just moronic! i.e . "Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again" No Katy Perry, I have not, and if that is how you feel on a regular basis you should get a mental health evaluation (or stop doing LSD. One of the two.) The theme of the song is in the right place though, and it has a good melody and is quite catchy. I just realized I know how to play all three on guitar, oh my. I think I'm a sucker for inspirational music or something.
So I'm just wondering, why now? Why is the sudden focus of popular music on making people feel good about themselves? Not that I'm complaining... It really is a nice change listening to the radio telling me "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" vs. "YOU'VE BEEN GOOD YOUR WHOLE LIFE, TIME TO BE A SLUT" (Yes, Avril Lavigne, this is referring to you). Is a change in our society happening? Are we finally going to focus on being beautiful as you are, instead of a photoshopped barbie doll? Or am I just imagining, and nothing has changed at all?
The videos give a clue to my question (watch them, if you haven't already! or skip through the frames to get the gist of the point) . Lady Gaga and Katy Perry's videos have something in common: The stars of the videos are both perfect looking in every way! Katy Perry is beautiful, with full makeup, nice hair, etc. Lady Gaga is odd as usual, but about halfway through the video is wearing a tiny black bikini and dancing around with her perfectly thin body. Something about the video seems to ruin the songs just a little for me. The song is telling me I am beautiful just the way I am, but the video is showing me two perfect women who I will probably never look like without a professsional makeup team, photoshopping, and possible heavy equipment :P
Unfortunately, what you do usually means more than what you say, so these songs actually seemed a bit hypocritical to me.
But there is hope here. Look at Pink's video for Fuckin Perfect. Sure, she is in it herself and I think she looks amazing, but she still looks real. Like a real person you would see walking down the street (Probably not in my fashion backward town, but still). Not only that, but the video isn't even really starring her! The girl in the video (Who is actually Deb from Napoleon Dynamite, fun fact) is really pretty for sure, but she is also a real girl! When I look at her, I don't cringe away at her flawlessness and feel inadequate. I actually watch her lovely self and the amazing acting job she does, making the whole video so real without ever saying a word. I can feel her pain throughout the song, see the hollowness in her eyes, and her joy as the video comes to a close. This woman is not perfect by our society's outrageous standards. But to someone who loves her, she is completely fucking perfect.
So maybe we haven't come as far from the days of Britney Spears in 'Hit me one more time' as I first thought. but I think we are making progress and a positive change in the music we are listening to. And that is always something to celebrate.
So anyways, as I was singing this song to myself (I actually plan on learning all of the lyrics and doing a cover soon), I realized something: There have been a lot of number one hits lately that have to do with self-esteem, inner beauty, and loving who you are. The chorus of Born This Way, for example "I'm beautiful in my way, God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, baby I was born this way. Don't live your life in regret, just love yourself and you're set, I'm on the right track baby I was born this way" . Doesn't that just make you smile inside? Particularly when you hear someone singing it instead of written down. It's so nice hearing a song on the radio that isn't about love for once, except loving yourself. I'm happy with my boyfriend and love him more than anything, but hearing my-boyfriend-left-me-now-i-wanna-die on a constant loop makes even me feel depressed. And Born This Way is only one example. We also have Fuckin Perfect by Pink and Firework by Katy Perry. I particularly love Fuckin Perfect, because the actual words of the song isn't what makes it special (Watch the video!! Listen to the song!!), its the way Pink sings them and makes it sound real and so powerful. Firework is a cute song too, even though the lyrics in the first verse are just moronic! i.e . "Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again" No Katy Perry, I have not, and if that is how you feel on a regular basis you should get a mental health evaluation (or stop doing LSD. One of the two.) The theme of the song is in the right place though, and it has a good melody and is quite catchy. I just realized I know how to play all three on guitar, oh my. I think I'm a sucker for inspirational music or something.
So I'm just wondering, why now? Why is the sudden focus of popular music on making people feel good about themselves? Not that I'm complaining... It really is a nice change listening to the radio telling me "YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" vs. "YOU'VE BEEN GOOD YOUR WHOLE LIFE, TIME TO BE A SLUT" (Yes, Avril Lavigne, this is referring to you). Is a change in our society happening? Are we finally going to focus on being beautiful as you are, instead of a photoshopped barbie doll? Or am I just imagining, and nothing has changed at all?
The videos give a clue to my question (watch them, if you haven't already! or skip through the frames to get the gist of the point) . Lady Gaga and Katy Perry's videos have something in common: The stars of the videos are both perfect looking in every way! Katy Perry is beautiful, with full makeup, nice hair, etc. Lady Gaga is odd as usual, but about halfway through the video is wearing a tiny black bikini and dancing around with her perfectly thin body. Something about the video seems to ruin the songs just a little for me. The song is telling me I am beautiful just the way I am, but the video is showing me two perfect women who I will probably never look like without a professsional makeup team, photoshopping, and possible heavy equipment :P
Unfortunately, what you do usually means more than what you say, so these songs actually seemed a bit hypocritical to me.
But there is hope here. Look at Pink's video for Fuckin Perfect. Sure, she is in it herself and I think she looks amazing, but she still looks real. Like a real person you would see walking down the street (Probably not in my fashion backward town, but still). Not only that, but the video isn't even really starring her! The girl in the video (Who is actually Deb from Napoleon Dynamite, fun fact) is really pretty for sure, but she is also a real girl! When I look at her, I don't cringe away at her flawlessness and feel inadequate. I actually watch her lovely self and the amazing acting job she does, making the whole video so real without ever saying a word. I can feel her pain throughout the song, see the hollowness in her eyes, and her joy as the video comes to a close. This woman is not perfect by our society's outrageous standards. But to someone who loves her, she is completely fucking perfect.
So maybe we haven't come as far from the days of Britney Spears in 'Hit me one more time' as I first thought. but I think we are making progress and a positive change in the music we are listening to. And that is always something to celebrate.
Sunday, 6 March 2011
does our environment have a direct effect on our mood?
I've been asking myself this question (^That question. In the title :P) a lot lately. Yesterday, I woke up around 6 as I usually do (I usually work mornings, so my sleep schedule is now permanently weird) and just felt oddly melancholy. The rain outside was turning the parking lot into a mini lake, everything just seemed so grey and lonely... I love rain, don't get me wrong. Particularly of the summer variety, when the grass is cool and damp on bare feet and the sun peeks out once in a while. But this rain was just plain gloomy, and I think it was the reason I felt so gross. I just felt lifeless and energy-less, like I could sleep all day (which is very odd for me as I loathe sleeping). I actually took a frigging nap! I can't even think of the last time I did that.
I think another factor that contributed to this was the current state of my apartment x__x Normally, our place is very clean and tidy as we both like things organized. Lately, though, the kitchen looks like a bomb went off, the bathroom has to be clean, laundry needs to be done.... Ahh adulthood. Yesterday I had plenty of time to do it, but I just didn't feel well and was in a foul mood in general. My wonderful boyfriend said he will do it, but he just hasn't had a chance. Even writing this post right now I feel like I should be cleaning.. I probably would be, except I have to be at work in an hour and a bit and my boyfriend is asleep after working all night.
The weather today is somewhat depressing too.... It snowed a ton last night, and I just want spring to come!!! Even yesterday while hating the rain I was thinking, "At least it has melted all the snow, it will probably get warm after this". HAH. Thanks a lot Canada, you whore.
So my long-drawn-out point is, why do we feel different depending on our surroundings? Why can a bit of rain and a sink full of dishes put us in a bad mood even if we have no reason to be? Maybe I'm just over dramatic and sensitive to such slight changes.
On the plus side, I'm feeling a whole lot more cheerful today, despite soon having to go work for nine hours! I'm actually not really dreading it. We've added a lot of new things to the restaurant I work for, so there will be a bit of a break from the daily grind for the next few days. :D There are a lot of things I actually love about my job. Sometimes it feels more like playing game than working... Trying to get the quickest drive thru times, working different 'positions' on the floor (ie. front counter, drive thru runner, grill, etc), working as a team... My favourite thing is definitely the people I work with. Everyone is so much fun and we are all like a big family :) We have our drama time to time like anywhere, but overall its a great place to be .
I have to get going, unfortunately, as I have to put makeup on/hair/uniform/walk to work :P
I have more topics in mind so I may blog again later. Is twice in one day allowed? Hope so :P
<3
P.S. Joined a couple link exchanges, check out a site or two if you have a chance :)
I think another factor that contributed to this was the current state of my apartment x__x Normally, our place is very clean and tidy as we both like things organized. Lately, though, the kitchen looks like a bomb went off, the bathroom has to be clean, laundry needs to be done.... Ahh adulthood. Yesterday I had plenty of time to do it, but I just didn't feel well and was in a foul mood in general. My wonderful boyfriend said he will do it, but he just hasn't had a chance. Even writing this post right now I feel like I should be cleaning.. I probably would be, except I have to be at work in an hour and a bit and my boyfriend is asleep after working all night.
The weather today is somewhat depressing too.... It snowed a ton last night, and I just want spring to come!!! Even yesterday while hating the rain I was thinking, "At least it has melted all the snow, it will probably get warm after this". HAH. Thanks a lot Canada, you whore.
So my long-drawn-out point is, why do we feel different depending on our surroundings? Why can a bit of rain and a sink full of dishes put us in a bad mood even if we have no reason to be? Maybe I'm just over dramatic and sensitive to such slight changes.
On the plus side, I'm feeling a whole lot more cheerful today, despite soon having to go work for nine hours! I'm actually not really dreading it. We've added a lot of new things to the restaurant I work for, so there will be a bit of a break from the daily grind for the next few days. :D There are a lot of things I actually love about my job. Sometimes it feels more like playing game than working... Trying to get the quickest drive thru times, working different 'positions' on the floor (ie. front counter, drive thru runner, grill, etc), working as a team... My favourite thing is definitely the people I work with. Everyone is so much fun and we are all like a big family :) We have our drama time to time like anywhere, but overall its a great place to be .
I have to get going, unfortunately, as I have to put makeup on/hair/uniform/walk to work :P
I have more topics in mind so I may blog again later. Is twice in one day allowed? Hope so :P
<3
P.S. Joined a couple link exchanges, check out a site or two if you have a chance :)
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